Friday, December 4
Welcome
4:00 PM PST
We arrive together, settle our nervous systems, and set the agreements that will hold the weekend.
After the thank-yous
Gratitude without repair is a form of consumption.
After the blue wave, the thank-yous to Black women filled our feeds, with captions, graphics, and heartfelt posts about who saved the country. Many of those thank-yous were sincere, and many of them also sat right next to the same anti-Black patterns Black women have been naming for generations, like being talked over in meetings, being asked to teach for free, and being praised as a resource and then dropped as a person. If you have noticed that gratitude and anti-Blackness can show up in the very same room, and sometimes in the very same person, you are noticing something real.
The pattern of waking up, showing up, hitting discomfort, and going quiet has a cost, and Black women are the ones who pay it every time. The thank-you was never the goal, because changed behavior was the goal, and changed behavior is much harder to sustain than a post.
It is not a moral failing, and it is not an excuse.
Why it keeps happening
A capacity gap can be closed.
Most white people were never taught how to stay present in their bodies when race comes up, so the nervous system does what it learned to do, which is flinch, over-explain, collapse into shame, or leave. That is a gap in capacity, and capacity can be built, which is good news.
It also does not erase accountability, because an explanation for harm is not an exemption from repairing it. Both things are true at once, and this retreat is built to hold both. You will not be shamed here, and you will not be let off the hook either.
Everything you have done on your own, with books and posts and good intentions, happens in the places where you are mostly alone, which is the hardest version of this work. Co-regulation is the documented way a dysregulated nervous system finds its way back, and it requires other people, so some of this can only be learned in a room together.
The weekend
Three days, one practice.
We begin by arriving and building safety, spend a full day learning and moving and playing, and close by grieving together, because shame so often covers a grief we were never taught how to feel.
Saturday, December 5
Learn, Move, Play
9:00 AM to 4:00 PM PST
Teaching, somatic movement, integration, and small play groups, with a one-hour break in the middle, so that what you learn lands in the body and gets practiced with other people.
Sunday, December 6
Grieve and Embody
9:00 AM to noon PST
A grief practice, embodiment, and somatic practice, so shame has somewhere to go besides silence and repair has somewhere to begin.
ALL TIMES PACIFIC
What you will leave with
A way of living, not a performance.
You arrive as someone who cares deeply and still goes quiet when it counts. You leave as someone with the capacity to stay, who can hear a challenge without making it about your feelings, repair when you get it wrong, and keep showing up after the cultural spotlight has moved on.
A nervous system that has practiced staying present when it feels activated, defensive, or ashamed.
A clear picture of how your gratitude, silence, or withdrawal has landed on Black women.
A personal accountability plan with concrete actions, relationships, and resources you will redistribute.
People who know your patterns and will hold you to your word long after the weekend ends.
Is this for you
Come as you are, ready to be challenged.
This is for you if
- You have read the books and posted the posts and still pull back when it gets hard.
- You feel the weight of responsibility and want to repair, not perform.
- You are willing to sit in discomfort and be held while you do.
- You want accountability that you can sustain, not a burst of guilt.
This is not for you if
- You are looking for validation or reassurance that you are one of the good ones.
- You want to debate whether racism is real rather than change how you act.
- You are not open to being challenged.
- You want inspiration without accountability.
Join us
Reserve your place.
When
December 4-6, 2026
Friday 4 PM, Saturday 9 AM to 4 PM, Sunday 9 AM to noon (PST)
Friday 4 PM, Saturday 9 AM to 4 PM, Sunday 9 AM to noon (PST)
Where
Online via Zoom
Investment
$1,000
scholarships available, write to us
scholarships available, write to us
featuring Jen Gergen and myisha t. hill
If the cost is what is standing in the way, write to support@myishat.com before you decide against it. We have never run anything without scholarships and we are not going to start now.
Questions you might be holding
Before you decide.
I am afraid I will say the wrong thing.
You probably will at some point, and the retreat is built for exactly that. Practicing repair in a contained space, with people who are practicing alongside you, is how you stop avoiding it everywhere else.
Is this going to shame me?
No. We treat shame as a nervous system state to move through, and we treat accountability as the work that comes after. You will be challenged, and you will be held while it happens.
Is this for me if I already do the work?
If you have read the books, posted the posts, and still found yourself pulling back when it got hard, then yes, this is for you.
Why a whole weekend?
A nervous system needs time away from the life that keeps interrupting practice, and it needs other people, to settle long enough to learn something instead of just surviving the weekend.
What if I cannot afford it?
Write to us at support@myishat.com before you decide against it, because scholarships are part of how we run everything.
The people who have carried this work for generations deserve more than a thank-you.
If you are ready to give them something they can feel, we would love to have you with us.
Reserve my place